Friday Night Story

Super Duper Tuesday Blues
  “My point, after all of the rambly nonsense, is that I can’t trust New McCain, and I certainly can’t hope that there’s enough of Old McCain in there to suffice for the soul he sold for the tacit cooperation of the Republican Party.”

I was really getting tired of him; he hadn’t stopped complaining since Iowa. “Look, I’ve got to ask, why should I even give a crap what you have to say about this? You were wrong about the primaries, they didn’t mean anything. Even Super Tuesday didn’t mean anything for the Democrats.”

“Yeah. I was wrong. And you know the beautiful thing about politics? Being wrong doesn’t matter. It’s never about guessing right on the first try. It’s about being able to shift your momentum to the right course, being able to recognize that your own personal brand of soothsaying isn’t 100%, and that there are options that didn’t necessarily originate between the four walls of your own skull.”

“To the point: each and every one of us is a human being, all fallible. That’s why I was so irritated in ’04 when everyone beat John Kerry over the head for being a flip-flopper. The last thing you want in the world is an obstinate, know-nothing politician who refuses to reexamine his course even as it’s foundering,” and I think he coughed the name “Bush,” then added, “sorry, it’s the damn cigarettes; I really need to quite.” He ground out the butt on the bottom of his shoe, and tossed a piece of nicotine gum onto his tongue.

“But more than that, and if you were really paying attention you’d know this, I was right about the core issue- the primary/caucus election system is stupendously flawed. This election proved that it’s not as broken as it was in ‘04, but it’s still fundamentally flawed.”

“But that’s completely a side issue. The problem now is, McCain might actually have a shot at winning the election. He’s cuddly enough for moderates, he’s liberal enough to even seduce away some democrats, and, given no other options, conservatives will likely back him. Huckabee or Romney would have been election season poison- happy candidates for everyone right of the middle on the conservative side, but unable to even talk an independent under his desk, let alone out of her vote.”

“The Old John McCain was someone you could trust. I disagree with his approach, the tax less spend less side of the coin, but I understand that it’s the same sound principal as the tax more spend more system I prefer. Other than that, he was a fairly sound candidate, smart, moral, and most importantly of all, fair. Old McCain believed in social justice, to the detriment of his political career. New McCain has sold out a lot of his idealism for political capital- and I don’t know how many of his values he’s capitulated on for his presidential bid.”

“He should have partnered with John Kerry in ’04, renounced his backwards party and its outmoded xenophobias, and moved on. Even if he had lost with Kerry in ’04, by God, I’d have voted for a Democratic McCain in ’08. But instead he threw the weight of his ‘maverick, straight-talking, moderate-beloved’ persona behind Bush, and landed us four more years with the idiot man-child messiah.”

I sighed, and spoke slow, choosing my words carefully, because I knew he’d scrutinize them. “McCain has his demons, but just like Clinton, it’s hard to know who exactly his masters in the shadows could turn out to be- but no one Ann Coulter hates that much can be all bad.”

He smiled, and slapped my shoulder. “You know, that is a hell of a silver lining there. Whatever happens from here on out, Ann’s going to be pissed as hell, and that means there’s at least a little right in this blighted damn world of ours.”

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