Friday Night Story

Aqua Samba


I can’t believe you’re such a dick-

I thought we’d agreed to move past that.

No, you agreed to move past it, I was tired from trying to wriggle myself out of your gluttonous jaws-

Okay, fine. Blame me. I’m a fat pig, an oaf, an imbecile with eyes too big for his mouth. Do you feel better now? What, you don’t? Oh, so now you understand what futility tastes like?

Let me guess, does it taste anything like my face? You do realize how horrible it is to have your tongue slapping back and forth across my eyes, to say nothing of my blood constantly dispersing into a red cloud and being sucked into my gills. Do you have any idea how horribly disgusting it is to breath your own ichor?

<sigh> You’re right. I’m such a douchebag.

No. You’re not.

I am.

No. I mean you’re not. You don’t know what a douchebag is- and you’re not a douchebag.

You just like saying douchebag.

I do. But I know enough about them to know you’re not one. Probably a douche, but not the bag. No.

I don’t know if I should thank you or be offended.

What does it matter? It’s not like you could do anything from there.

Fair point. I guess I could thrash around, maybe get my teeth further embedded in your scalp- but I don’t see how that would help.

Yeah… we’re going to die like this, aren’t we?

I… think so. Sorry.

No real need to apologize. I mean, you were going to eat me, so-

Well, yeah, but there is a difference between consumption for food, and, well, this.

Yeah, death by starvation stuck inside someone else’s mouth does kind of blow. Um, by the way, my name’s, Gil.

No way. There is no, just no way that’s true.

It is. So aren’t you going to tell me your-

Ephram. I’ve always kind of hated it, but, you know, when you come from a large family, sometimes you take what you can get, you know. Did you ever-

Yeah, once. I ate a few of the eggs, she got pissed and chased me off. She had the longest tail, and the way she moved it-

I never did. I always wanted to. There was this… girl I grew up with, I kept putting off asking, and one day she was gone. I heard she went away with some other guy.

That’s tough. There’s no love more deeply lost than the one never tried.

That’s pretty. Did you steal that from somewhere?

I don’t know. Probably. It’s generic enough it likely came from someone else.

I feel… weak.

Yeah. This long without food will do that to you.

You too?

Of course. It’s not like there’s room service in here.

I’d ask you to hold me, but I think we’re as held as we get. Um… wanna dance?

Do I have a choice?

Only technically. Are you leading or am I?

I can’t tell.

But see. Not so bad.

It beats the monotony of just floating there, but it is a little gay.

Dude, you’re inside another guy’s mouth.

Okay, so it’s really gay.

<sigh> Yeah. But this is our last dance, man. Sometimes you take what you can get.

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