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Page Five
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I just asked that Dallaire be a little less angry in 5. Otherwise, it seemed fine and dandy. That and that we avoid making him too plump in panel 2.


Five arrived late because of a miscommunication error involving panel 5, but I think it was worth the wait. However Dallaire was just a little too intense.


Dallaire works wonderfully now.

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PAGE FIVE;

 

Panel 1;

Dallaire paces on the end of the Governor’s desk as he starts list the problems.

 

Dallaire:  Police blockades prevent residents from leaving the Do. Fir neighborhood at night, and the Ganjaweeds are given tacit approval to rape, burn, or murder anything they find there.

 

Panel 2;

Dallaire struggles to stay dispassionate, despite himself.

 

Dallaire:  About 1% of the population have been killed. 5% have been left homeless. Unemployment is virtually universal. Emergency responders won’t respond without an escort from the 53rd.

 

Panel 3;

The Governor’s face sinks back into shadow.

 

Silence

 

Panel 4;

The Governor’s body slouches in silhouette even further as he speaks from his desk.

 

Governor:  Hasen will make it an issue of race; he’ll make it a matter of religion. He’ll paint us as bigoted conquerors.

 

Panel 5;

Dallaire leans towards the audience. From the Governor’s POV, and he addresses all of us.

 

Dallaire:  It’s not an issue of race. And it’s not an issue of religion. It’s the right thing to do.

 

Dallaire:  More than that, I can’t help you with. 

 

Panel 6;

The governor has picked up his pen, and he’s writing.

 

Governor:  I know.

 

Panel 7;

In the interrogation room, Marley’s giving Rodriguez a history lesson. Rodriguez knows most of it, but he’s good enough at his job to know it’s best to let Marley tell his story his way before picking at him. Marley sits a little uncomfortably back in the metal chair, but is mostly distracted by his storytelling.

 

Marley:    The Original Ganjas left when Dr. Makonnen passed. Said our generation had no respect for Jah.

 

Marley:    Back then, that was bull.

 

Panel 8;

Rodriguez leans forward to emphasize his participation.

 

Rodriguez: What happened?

 

Panel 9;

Marley’s words are at the top of the panel, and he looks off, as his words trail away, and Rodriguez’s balloon comes in at the bottom, to complete the thought.

 

Marley:    Stopped bein bout bynghis, started bein bout business. I got nothing gainst a brotha wants to get paid…

 

Rodriguez: But you developed a problem with the way they went about it?



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